Does Your Fears Get You Into Ostrich Heady Syndrome?
All through my life right here on the planet, I’ve come to seek out that essentially the most paralyzing factor in my life is concern.
The combat or flight adrenal response
All people has an adrenal response to concern and most of the people discuss with it as ‘combat or flight’. That is the place you might be confronted by a lion and also you both put your dukes up, otherwise you run like an olympian away from the hazard.
The response system
Whereas these are the 2 commonest responses, they don’t seem to be the one responses. There’s additionally the seemingly involuntary ‘freeze’ response. That is the place you’ll be confronted by a lion and your jaw drops, your muscle mass seize, and you can not transfer.
Consider an opossum… they freeze when they are scared, which seems to be like they’re taking part in lifeless. Freezing works for them, when the predator sees this, they get bored and transfer on.
(Nerdy aspect truth: the opossum is to not be confused with a possum, yow will discover the distinction right here.) The distinction for people is that the freeze response doesn’t assist with most conditions. We don’t have to (and shouldn’t) play lifeless… it freaks folks out.
People can freeze in some ways, for me it’s inaction. Typically I’m actually frozen in place, however that could be a completely different matter collectively. Most occasions it’s passivity and might appear like apathy. The reality is, I care an excessive amount of, I don’t have a scarcity of concern for something, my mind simply chooses my battles for me generally.
As an example: If I’m operating low on funds, and I do know I’ve some massive payments arising, I’ll all of the sudden develop ‘ostrich head syndrome’… I stick my head within the sand till I really feel the hazard has handed. By the point I search for once more, my payments could also be late and my stress degree simply elevated. Not useful.
(I promise I’m performed with the animal metaphors…)
Study to Face your Fears
I’ve needed to be taught to face my fears. In DBT it’s referred to as “reverse to emotion motion”. When I’m afraid of one thing, whether or not it’s a concern of going to a sure restaurant, a concern of telling somebody I’m upset, or just a concern of not having sufficient cash to pay the payments, I’ve to be aware of it and do it anyway. The extra I problem my fears – by going to that restaurant, asserting myself, and paying what payments I can – the extra I notice that none of these occasions had the facility to hurt me.
Nobody likes to be uncomfortable, and going through our fears makes us uncomfortable. The reality of the matter is that these emotions cross, like a wave, they swell, hit a peak, after which fall once more. In my expertise, the momentary stress that’s attributable to confronting a difficulty is much less bothersome than the long-term stress that’s attributable to the ostrich-head syndrome.
For instance, I’m going to a health club that’s speculated to be a “judgment-free zone”. I ended up turning into associates with one of many staff and he or she advised me that a number of the male staff have been judging folks’s our bodies as they walked by means of the door. I discovered this out 3 weeks in the past, and I haven’t been again since. I used to be terrified that if I went in, I might be judged and the thought was humiliating.
The stress that I went by means of from worrying, dropping endurance and energy, and lacking out on the endorphins that train releases was far more of a hindrance than the momentary discomfort that I felt once I went to the health club this morning. Truthfully, I walked in and discovered that these guys don’t even work there anymore. Going through my concern had far more of a pay-off than hiding from it. It’s simply laborious to do not forget that within the second.
Is concern dangerous?
Don’t get me flawed, some fears are fully professional. Being afraid to stroll throughout a busy interstate is justified, you’ll most likely get hit by a automobile. I’m speaking about fears that aren’t justified. Fearing Applebees is just not a justified concern – It can’t damage me, put me in peril, or in any approach hurt my well-being. I’m on no account suggesting that folks go and put themselves in harmful conditions, I’m difficult you to take a look at your fears, assess if they’re logical, after which face them if they don’t seem to be serving you.
