Feelings from a Teen Stuck at Home

By August Schultze

I’m nearly completed with my junior 12 months in highschool, and every thing I like doing is being canceled. My state-wide volleyball event, my church youth group, college, my college newspaper. All canceled. I’m not even allowed to hang around with my mates. I’m caught at dwelling with no individuals to speak to face-to-face besides my circle of relatives. I do know it’s needed, nevertheless it’s isolating—and horrifying.

My first promenade will in all probability not occur. I’m going to overlook celebrating my girlfriend’s birthday, and since each our birthdays are in April, she’s going to in all probability miss mine. It’s our first birthdays as a pair, and I do know this in all probability sounds dumb to adults, nevertheless it’s necessary to me. I really feel unhappy.

My dad and mom inform me to attract, write, maintain a journal, make a cellphone name, speak about my emotions to my brothers, however I really feel like I’d be judged in the event that they knew what bothers me. It bothers me that I’ll by no means get this time again. How do I clarify that? I can draw, I can write, however my emotions nonetheless keep the identical.

I’m dwelling as a result of I have to be.

I’m near my household and I’m glad my brother is dwelling from faculty, however we’re pressured in a small space collectively. We watch motion pictures and have lengthy discussions, however beneath all of it, I really feel we will’t ignore why it’s taking place. And that’s the scary half. The overarching feeling of “hazard.” I’m lacking enjoyable experiences at school, good occasions with mates, and necessary occasions which were canceled—and there’s actually no strategy to make a few of them up, ever.

What needs to be executed might be executed. I do know my household will do what we’re requested to do as a result of my dad and mom are like that. And I’d by no means wish to be the one accountable for somebody getting sick, being hospitalized, or presumably dropping their life.

The factor is, although, I’m a youngster. I don’t know a lot about what’s happening and I don’t comply with the information—my mom does that sufficient for the entire home. However even she is aware of how shortly issues change and can flip off the information and placed on music. Loud.

I’m staying at dwelling for the best causes. However all of the issues I’ve solely not too long ago been allowed to do—like drive and date—have been taken away now. I don’t know what to do about how I really feel. And I can’t even work out as a result of my health club is closed now, too.

I really feel caught, and I really feel responsible for being mad about it.

It’s irritating to be caught between my acquainted teenage world and the grownup world. I do know what I’ve to do, and I wish to be accountable, however a part of me needs to chortle and revel in life the best way I used to be just a few weeks in the past. I’m lacking the misplaced moments and I don’t suppose I’ll ever get them again.